Justice and Integrity

Each month our team has a meeting and we all take turns sharing a reflection before the meeting - something to consider, sometimes a prayer. This month was mine (sort of fitting for my birthday month - heh).

I wanted to share here too.

Providence has five core values that we are to be used in all we do. Compassion, justice, integrity, dignity, and excellence.

My Reflection for June 2020

Justice and Integrity

Justice
Act with justice, love with kindness and walk humbly with your God. –Micah 6:8
We foster a culture that promotes unity and reconciliation. We strive to care wisely for our people, our resources and our earth. We stand in solidarity with the most vulnerable, working to remove the causes of oppression and promoting justice for all.

Integrity
Let us love not merely with words or speech but with actions in truth. –1 John 3:18
We hold ourselves accountable to do the right things for the right reasons. We speak the truth with courage and respect. We pursue authenticity with humility and simplicity.

When I was looking for a reflection this morning I knew I wanted to focus on Justice as I feel that that value is very important right now. When looking at the list of our values, Integrity popped out at me and it felt they go hand in hand. If you do not have integrity in your actions, you cannot walk the path towards justice.

Justice has been important to me for my whole life. I have felt the need and desire for Justice many times growing up and as an adult. I’ve had to release that need for justice though, a few times. That need occasionally pops back up and I have to release it again because I’m too afraid of the path I’d have to walk to get that justice.

I feel our world is strongly calling for justice right now.

We’ve released justice a few times, afraid of the path we’d have to walk, unable to find all of our integrity needed for the strength and perseverance. But justice keeps catching us back up.

Are we brave enough to walk the path with justice now?
Have we found our integrity strong enough for the path?

I also found a prayer that spoke to me towards justice from a Catholic Charities organization online.

In hope that the arc of history bends toward justice, we lift up our prayers for racial healing, saying: Bind us together, O God of love.

For the Church, that its prophetic voice may proclaim to all the challenge to break the hopeless cycles of poverty, ignorance, prejudice, and despair which degrade the sacred dignity of humankind, we pray:

For our country, that we might celebrate our racial diversity and the distinctive and rich contributions of every fiber of our cultural fabric, we pray:

For wise and decisive action on the part of local and national leaders, that the scandal of racism may be eradicated from our society, we pray:

For an end to the subtle racism of economic oppression which permeates our society’s structures and resides in many hearts, we pray:

For our faith communities, that they may not succumb to indifference or accept the status quo, but press on for fundamental change, we pray:

For the victims of racial discrimination, that they may be filled with hope for a more just future, healing from wounds received, courage to advocate for change and for peace, and the grace to overcome hated with love, we pray:

For those who work for racial justice, that they may be sustained in hope, empowered with courage, and filled with the grace to persevere in love, we pray:

Amen.

(Prayer found here: https://www.catholiccharitiesusa.org/)

One month

Friday, March 13, 2020 started social distancing/quarantine - whichever you want to say.  It's technically social distancing but everyone has started calling it quarantine. Including me.  Not technically a full quarantine, but enough I suppose.

Today is Wednesday, April 15, 2020.  One month (and two days).

I've had to do another big shopping trip. I could have put it off longer, but for what I wanted to make I was out of some ingredients for, so off I went in my homemade mask which fit better than the ones Robert found in the garage that he had for woodworking projects.  The CDC recommends people start wearing one in public to prevent the spread of the disease, just in case they're sick but don't yet know it. I feel it offers some protection against catching it too (even if it's so small of an amount that it doesn't really "count" - it counts enough for me).  And it definitely reminds you not to touch your face in public.

It feels weird wearing a mask in public though, even with more than half of the rest of the people out and about wearing one too.  It will probably get more common and easier with time.  I took some alcohol wipes with me to wipe my hands, purse, wallet, phone, and car afterwards and washed my hands after returning home thoroughly.

The CDC (I believe, this might just be something someone said) also recommends you wipe down your groceries with a disinfectant wipe too, but I'm not doing that.  The majority of what I buy goes into the pantry for days/long enough for the virus to die on the surface and the produce gets washed before use so I think it's enough.  Our reusable bags go into the cupboard where they're not touched again until next trip.

We still go to the barn, and Carus is having her lessons with Martha still. I'm no longer holding baby Trask for the lessons though, just in case. I couldn't bear accidentally getting a baby sick. I don't want to accidentally get anyone sick.  Carus and I covered chores last week as Jessica got sick and had to wait for her COVID19 test results to come back - negative.  Just a cold.  She works at the jail so essential worker so chance of exposure.  The barn has put out bleach spray to wipe down common areas, stall picks, wheelbarrows, and feed containers. We're all being careful, especially with Linda as she's older.  The dynamic is the same, but different just enough that it feels weird.  We paused donkey lessons after Heather was potentially exposed on a trip into Portland for work, Justin came down with a cold, and their boarder Sarah had potential exposure at work too - they put themselves on quarantine (actual quarantine) just in case.  It's now been 3 weeks and Justin is better and no one else got sick. We'll probably pick up donkey lessons again next week.

School news:
Adam's doing okay with his online classes for this semester. He goes to the video classes and does the work and is managing his schedule well.  He's having some struggles with calculus, but it's calculus so expected.  Up until he started college, he was able to just skate through school and pull As and Bs, but in college he has to try harder, sometimes a lot harder, so it's different for him.  He's still doing well and passing all of his classes, just having to work more for those grades.  He hasn't left the house since this started, except one trip grocery shopping with me for pho supplies.  We're planning on making chicken stock and canning it soon. And then maybe we'll do beef stock too.  I love that all he and his friends can easily game together online both video games and D&D.

As for Carus, she's officially a graduate.  Class of 2020.  When they canceled school for the year, they also started getting plans together for what requirements would be needed to pass the grade the kids were in.  All Seniors that were passing classes by March 13th, would pass the class without additional work.  Carus was passing. She had some outstanding work sample stuff to turn in - it was mostly done, but had to be finished and could only be done in class with the teacher - so that was marked completed. And that's it. Senior projects got fully canceled. I did say we could still do the video and save for ourselves, or share with friends and family or even with her teachers. She passes on that for now.  Graduation ceremony is still up in the air, but I'm not holding my breath.  Come out of quarantine and cram 1,000+ people into an auditorium? That's a good way to get put back into quarantine.

Still hoping though.

Pre Fair and Fair are still planning as if we'll go ahead with them. I'm more hopeful there.  End of June and end of July are a long ways off still.  Spring Classic has officially been canceled for the May dates.  It's currently being discussed if we'll move online (hard to do for Horse Bowl competition though) or if we'll postpone until September.  We'll hear more on Sunday - Julie, the coach, has started practices back up on Zoom meetings since we can't meet in person.

Robert is still working, normal schedule.  They've sent all non-essentials to work from home.  Well, except for one lady who refuses to go home and then spends all day talking quite loudly to someone else or herself and disrupting everyone. Robert is quite annoyed with her volume.  I'm quite annoyed they haven't made her go home if she isn't supposed to be there. It's just another infection vector, especially since from all she's loudly said, she is not keeping her distance from anyone and is not staying home.

My hours were cut starting April 1st. I lost an average of 12 hours per week per the schedule, but with Erin doing labor pool and Marcia calling in sick yesterday, I've gotten back some of those hours. I'm not worried - I have plenty of PTO to use to fill in the gap.  I'm actually kind of looking forward to some of the half days or completely off days I have in there. Last Friday I worked 4 hours in the evening to cover Erin's labor pool, but during the day I was off and Robert and I completely cleaned our room pulling out furniture and vacuuming and shampooing the carpets well.

I guess that's all I have to update and share. I want to be sure this time is documented, even if it's just for me. This will definitely be a blip in history that gets studied. Was the quarantine helpful or not helpful? Did our leaders handle things appropriately and timely? What was life like? Etc... we know all of those questions will be asked as they're asked for previous pandemics... Maybe my grandkids will ask me about it?  I feel this is a trauma on us and our personalities and quirks will be affected by it.  How many will hoard certain supplies for fear? Who will continue to wear masks in public even after this threat is gone? How many people will have germ based phobias - big and small? Will the conspiracy theories win out? (The most ridiculous one - COVID is spread by 5G. Like wtf?) I don't know what it will do to me yet - make me more of a homebody is my best guess. The anxiety I have of going into public and seeing people is REAL ya'll.

OOhh, I forgot to share! This is something related to the times, but not particularly this pandemic. I want this documented so that hopefully when it gets better, and I need to believe it will get better, I can look back and see how far we've come.  At the grocery stores around here, I occasionally come across some latinx people and it breaks my heart when they look at me in fear. Not always, but sometimes. It's always older people, generally a couple, and they look absolutely terrified that they might inconvenience me making me mad or something. I'm white and I'm middle aged, which makes me the demographic of those that hate them/wish them dead.  I always try to smile reassuringly, making sure my eyes show how genuine that smile is, and often that relaxes them enough to remove some of the terror from their face.  But with a mask they can't see my smile. That hurts my heart.


Oregon cumulative totals per Oregon Health Authority - 8 a.m., 4/14/2020 (yes, yesterday's numbers, but it hasn't been updated for today yet)

Positive:  1,633
Negative: 30,730
Total person tested: 32,363
Total deaths:   55

The bus saga continues....

255:366

Pretty clouds seen while waiting at the bus stop this morning.



The bus showed up - but was late.  I called the bus company to see how late and they again couldn't find the stop or Carus in the system.  At that point I was starting to lose it and when I said that I had been assured repeatedly that the bus would be there to pick her up this morning I was quickly transfered to who I assume is a head honcho, who remembered me from last week.  It only took her a second to radio the bus and find out how late she was running (my point of calling).  Idiots.

I thought I had given the full bus saga story before, but looking back I've just mentioned it.  I've complained on Facebook a couple of times though.

Full story:

Mid August we are supposed to get a little postcard from the bus company to let us know which bus the kids are to ride to and from school as well as their pick up and drop off times.  Adam's card showed up, Carus's did not.  I waited a week and called.  They assured me that it would probably show up, and even though they couldn't find her in their system, nor our stop (though Adam was in the system) they said she would probably be riding bus B and Adam was confirmed as riding bus A.

A week before school starts, the postcard still hasn't shown up and I wanted confirmation of her bus route so I called back.  They still couldn't find her or our stop in the system, and after some digging around (not sure what the guy was doing) I was told she would be riding bus A.  But wait, that's Adam's bus...  I was reassured that that was correct and that it would go to Carus's school and then to Adam's.  At one point in that conversation he even told me, "Just stick her on his bus and we'll get her to school."  Um, thanks random stranger, I'm totally cool with that plan.  He then suggested that the school hadn't sent her information over to them and I should call them.

Two days later I finally got a hold of the school (they were really busy with back to school I get it)(it probably would have been sooner if I left a voice mail earlier than I did)(I don't like leaving voice mails) and they didn't have a bus route listed for her.  They called the bus company, again came back with bus A and when I told them that was Adam's bus which goes to an entirely different school, I was reassured again that it was correct.

Okay.  Weird, but okay.

First day of school and the bus has a history of not showing up for the past two years (new to a school students and new to the district students start a day earlier than everyone else) so I take Carus to school to avoid the wait for a bus that probably won't show up.  We've told Carus which bus she is to get on after school - bus A.

She gets home an hour later than she should because there was NO bus A at the school.  NOT AT ALL!  The school office put her on bus B and bus B had to figure out how to get her at her stop (correct side of a busy highway so she doesn't have to cross).  I call the bus company and was told that bus A was at her school and that they would be calling the school to talk to them about it, and that yes Carus should be riding bus A morning and afternoon.  I don't believe them.

I go to the stop the next morning and ask Adam's bus driver if he goes to Carus's school and his exact words were, "Uh, no.  Why should I?"

BOOM. My head exploded.

He radio'd and they told him they didn't know what I was talking about and could he take her.  Yes he could.  But I wouldn't let him. Cause of the head exploding thing.

I called and that was the first time I talked to my head honcho lady.  She rerouted bus B to make sure that it stopped correctly for Carus and gave me a new pick up time that was 10 minutes after Adam's.

The next morning - Friday - the bus doesn't show up.  I call and was told that she was running late and I probably just missed her as we had already started walking back to the house for me to take Carus to school.

That leads us to this morning.  See above for that.  Getting Carus home hasn't been too hard for them, and the school is not far, but I am anxious until she walks in that door.  I can take her every morning since it's before I start work - but I can't pick her up easily.  If I have to, I have to though so...

We'll see how tomorrow goes!