One month

Friday, March 13, 2020 started social distancing/quarantine - whichever you want to say.  It's technically social distancing but everyone has started calling it quarantine. Including me.  Not technically a full quarantine, but enough I suppose.

Today is Wednesday, April 15, 2020.  One month (and two days).

I've had to do another big shopping trip. I could have put it off longer, but for what I wanted to make I was out of some ingredients for, so off I went in my homemade mask which fit better than the ones Robert found in the garage that he had for woodworking projects.  The CDC recommends people start wearing one in public to prevent the spread of the disease, just in case they're sick but don't yet know it. I feel it offers some protection against catching it too (even if it's so small of an amount that it doesn't really "count" - it counts enough for me).  And it definitely reminds you not to touch your face in public.

It feels weird wearing a mask in public though, even with more than half of the rest of the people out and about wearing one too.  It will probably get more common and easier with time.  I took some alcohol wipes with me to wipe my hands, purse, wallet, phone, and car afterwards and washed my hands after returning home thoroughly.

The CDC (I believe, this might just be something someone said) also recommends you wipe down your groceries with a disinfectant wipe too, but I'm not doing that.  The majority of what I buy goes into the pantry for days/long enough for the virus to die on the surface and the produce gets washed before use so I think it's enough.  Our reusable bags go into the cupboard where they're not touched again until next trip.

We still go to the barn, and Carus is having her lessons with Martha still. I'm no longer holding baby Trask for the lessons though, just in case. I couldn't bear accidentally getting a baby sick. I don't want to accidentally get anyone sick.  Carus and I covered chores last week as Jessica got sick and had to wait for her COVID19 test results to come back - negative.  Just a cold.  She works at the jail so essential worker so chance of exposure.  The barn has put out bleach spray to wipe down common areas, stall picks, wheelbarrows, and feed containers. We're all being careful, especially with Linda as she's older.  The dynamic is the same, but different just enough that it feels weird.  We paused donkey lessons after Heather was potentially exposed on a trip into Portland for work, Justin came down with a cold, and their boarder Sarah had potential exposure at work too - they put themselves on quarantine (actual quarantine) just in case.  It's now been 3 weeks and Justin is better and no one else got sick. We'll probably pick up donkey lessons again next week.

School news:
Adam's doing okay with his online classes for this semester. He goes to the video classes and does the work and is managing his schedule well.  He's having some struggles with calculus, but it's calculus so expected.  Up until he started college, he was able to just skate through school and pull As and Bs, but in college he has to try harder, sometimes a lot harder, so it's different for him.  He's still doing well and passing all of his classes, just having to work more for those grades.  He hasn't left the house since this started, except one trip grocery shopping with me for pho supplies.  We're planning on making chicken stock and canning it soon. And then maybe we'll do beef stock too.  I love that all he and his friends can easily game together online both video games and D&D.

As for Carus, she's officially a graduate.  Class of 2020.  When they canceled school for the year, they also started getting plans together for what requirements would be needed to pass the grade the kids were in.  All Seniors that were passing classes by March 13th, would pass the class without additional work.  Carus was passing. She had some outstanding work sample stuff to turn in - it was mostly done, but had to be finished and could only be done in class with the teacher - so that was marked completed. And that's it. Senior projects got fully canceled. I did say we could still do the video and save for ourselves, or share with friends and family or even with her teachers. She passes on that for now.  Graduation ceremony is still up in the air, but I'm not holding my breath.  Come out of quarantine and cram 1,000+ people into an auditorium? That's a good way to get put back into quarantine.

Still hoping though.

Pre Fair and Fair are still planning as if we'll go ahead with them. I'm more hopeful there.  End of June and end of July are a long ways off still.  Spring Classic has officially been canceled for the May dates.  It's currently being discussed if we'll move online (hard to do for Horse Bowl competition though) or if we'll postpone until September.  We'll hear more on Sunday - Julie, the coach, has started practices back up on Zoom meetings since we can't meet in person.

Robert is still working, normal schedule.  They've sent all non-essentials to work from home.  Well, except for one lady who refuses to go home and then spends all day talking quite loudly to someone else or herself and disrupting everyone. Robert is quite annoyed with her volume.  I'm quite annoyed they haven't made her go home if she isn't supposed to be there. It's just another infection vector, especially since from all she's loudly said, she is not keeping her distance from anyone and is not staying home.

My hours were cut starting April 1st. I lost an average of 12 hours per week per the schedule, but with Erin doing labor pool and Marcia calling in sick yesterday, I've gotten back some of those hours. I'm not worried - I have plenty of PTO to use to fill in the gap.  I'm actually kind of looking forward to some of the half days or completely off days I have in there. Last Friday I worked 4 hours in the evening to cover Erin's labor pool, but during the day I was off and Robert and I completely cleaned our room pulling out furniture and vacuuming and shampooing the carpets well.

I guess that's all I have to update and share. I want to be sure this time is documented, even if it's just for me. This will definitely be a blip in history that gets studied. Was the quarantine helpful or not helpful? Did our leaders handle things appropriately and timely? What was life like? Etc... we know all of those questions will be asked as they're asked for previous pandemics... Maybe my grandkids will ask me about it?  I feel this is a trauma on us and our personalities and quirks will be affected by it.  How many will hoard certain supplies for fear? Who will continue to wear masks in public even after this threat is gone? How many people will have germ based phobias - big and small? Will the conspiracy theories win out? (The most ridiculous one - COVID is spread by 5G. Like wtf?) I don't know what it will do to me yet - make me more of a homebody is my best guess. The anxiety I have of going into public and seeing people is REAL ya'll.

OOhh, I forgot to share! This is something related to the times, but not particularly this pandemic. I want this documented so that hopefully when it gets better, and I need to believe it will get better, I can look back and see how far we've come.  At the grocery stores around here, I occasionally come across some latinx people and it breaks my heart when they look at me in fear. Not always, but sometimes. It's always older people, generally a couple, and they look absolutely terrified that they might inconvenience me making me mad or something. I'm white and I'm middle aged, which makes me the demographic of those that hate them/wish them dead.  I always try to smile reassuringly, making sure my eyes show how genuine that smile is, and often that relaxes them enough to remove some of the terror from their face.  But with a mask they can't see my smile. That hurts my heart.


Oregon cumulative totals per Oregon Health Authority - 8 a.m., 4/14/2020 (yes, yesterday's numbers, but it hasn't been updated for today yet)

Positive:  1,633
Negative: 30,730
Total person tested: 32,363
Total deaths:   55

Now in April and Still Living Through History

This Friday, April 10th, will be four weeks since we started Social Distancing measures. Or Monday the 13th, depending on how you count four weeks.

Things are starting to feel "normal". It shows how well humans adapt. The anxiety of what if has dissipated for me and it appears others are doing better too.  Or just appear to be coping better. 

We still have the end date of April 28th here in Oregon, and Oregon's numbers are doing quite well. Currently, on April 7th, our numbers are 1,181 confirmed cases and 33 deaths. I know there are some that were not able to get tested and I'm sure others who dealt with it without considering it was Covid19 and never got tested too. But still, we're doing okay. Hopefully we did enough, soon enough. 

Schools in California and Washington, and others, have decided to keep schools closed for the rest of the year. I don't think Oregon will have a decision until closer to May. I'm still hopeful for Carus's graduation at the beginning of June. She's already lost Senior prom, unless they reschedule for summer time, and Senior projects have been minimized (no presentations or displays; speeches are still on for now).

For 4H, her final prefair and fair are still on, at least for now. Her last horse bowl competition that was mid May might me postponed or cancelled; hoping for postponement more, obviously. 

She starts online school classes next week. Right now she didn't have much to do, just some supplemental tasks for no credit. She's been playing video games and doing puzzles and started crocheting a blanket. It will be her quarantine blanket. 

Adam's classes have all moved to online and he's been attending without problems. And then playing loads of video games with friends. They have a weekly standing D&D session plus just random games they play while chatting or play together. 

Adam and I have both been trying some new recipes. He made Pho and that was pretty good. We might make some beef and chicken stocks up and can it. I made sourdough cinnamon rolls and they turned out really good. 

My hours were cut at work, but I have PTO to cover for now and labor pool options for later if I want. Robert it still working as an essential worker at Intel. 

Otherwise my schedule hasn't changed much. I still go to the barn for chores a few times a week. I don't have meetings, I'm not working at the hospital, and I'm trying to make groceries last as long as possible (so far so good there).

The weather is starting to turn more gorgeous and spring has sprung. I'd love to go to the beach with my cut hours, but can't with the shelter in place orders, for good reason. 

We've had friends turn up with someone they know sick or hospitalized, and some names I recognize from local Facebook forums, but no one directly just yet. A friend did get tested as she got a cold and works at the jail so she's an essential worker; her test was negative. 

I'm feeling hopeful and comfortable in our current normal right now. It's much nicer than the extreme anxiety and fear I had the past few weeks. 

10 days

We heard the evening of Thursday, March 12, 2020. Schools were closing for the rest of the month. An extra week of spring break, to practice social distancing and self isolation, to help slow or stop the spread of Covid19. Oregon had one known case at that point. (Or maybe 2?)

Friday, March 13, 2020 was the start.

After one week, more businesses were closed. A bigger push for social distancing was called for, and the weekend at the start of spring break gave us gorgeous weather, a bunch of people who had been off work/working from home for a week with kids anxious and with built up energy, and beaches calling their names. The crowds of people at popular spots caused a shelter in place order Monday, March 23, 2020. No one out that doesn't need to be out.

It's been 10 days. (Technically 11 as it's now Tuesday but whatever.)

I'm not doing good today. I'm very angry and very sad. 

And I'm very fucking scared.

One Week

We're reaching one week since we got put on "social distancing". I'm trying to cope well, but I'm struggling with anxiety about the situation. 

The kids were excited at first. Me too, really. Spring break one week early! Adam thought his finals were cancelled (he found out the next day they were put online). It was disappointing to have some events and plans coming up just cancelled but it wasn't scary.

I didn't get scared really until I went into the office on Monday. Since I work for a hospital, I'm an essential worker. I don't work directly with patients, but the reports are necessary for patient care. Essential workers work as normal. My normal is on Mondays I go into the office and then work from home the rest of the week.

Monday, it finally clicked how much I was at risk of exposure even though I don't deal directly with patients. And then I thought about how much my asthma has not been controllable in the past few years. Every spring and fall, when allergens spike, I start having one or two asthma attacks a day, even with regular inhaler use. I joke Oregon is trying to kill me, but yeah - Oregon and all its plants are trying to kill me. 

Back in November I got really really sick. It started out as a head cold and I was improving after a day and then all of the sudden it moved to my lungs and I didn't stop coughing or sleep for 5 days. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't sleep, and I was overdosed on all the medications I could take - cough syrup, NyQuil, nebulizer and both of my inhalers, Vick's and several cough drops - and still I couldn't breathe well enough or stop coughing long enough to sleep. I would only get 15-30 minutes at a time, and none of it good sleep. Looking back, I should have gone to the hospital, but all I could think about was just getting some sleep. If I could sleep, I could get better. 

I sat in that office Monday after wiping it down with hospital grade disinfectant wipes for the third time, with hands already raw from hand washing and hand sanitizer, and I thought of how sick I was in November. Covid19 is worse. (Note - I'm not usually a hand sanitizer person. I wash hands and then just deal with 'minor' germs because good germs are killed by sanitizer and we need those in our lives.) 

Monday was when I realized I'm one of the high risk populations. That's when I realized I might not survive it. That's when I got scared. I want to be there for all the things left in my kid's lives. I have a few things left I'd like in my life. I'm not ready to die. (I mean, who is, but still...)

I'm not worried about supplies, yet. My normal shopping habits are bulk buys and I did a big shopping trip 2 days before lockdown. It was surprising when everyone else cleared shelves. It made me feel like I should be out there trying to get things too. I went yesterday for a few things and Robert went tonight for more of our usual supplies. Some things aren't available though so if we do reach the end of that supply, we'll have to try harder. We have some time though. 

I don't begrudge anyone who stocked up on toilet paper. The fear parts of their brain have decided that was an essential survival item. Just like with the bread and milk of big storms in recent years. One person's fear brain thought, "this is what I need to feel in control," and then everyone else's fear brains decided to agree. Fear can do strange things, hoarding toilet paper just happens to be this event's "thing".

Robert invited me to come with him to the store - sometimes that's our date night - real exciting huh - but I couldn't do it. I was so anxious being in the store the night before. I wanted to cry standing in the checkout line. 

Story about that: Carus and I are standing there (she was with me because we just came from the barn) and in the next lane over there's a lady with a kid in the front of the cart. Kid is around 3-4 years old. He has a ball and he's put it in his mouth. Then he drops the ball onto the ground. Mom picked it up and gave it back to him and he put it back in his mouth. Like normally I'm all, "hell yeah kid, build that immune system," but right now, fuck no. Yikes. 

I've also had a cough for 2 weeks - Robert and I got sick (I think the flu or a cold, it wasn't too bad) and everything has started blooming and now I'm having asthma attacks and constantly coughing. Carus is always amused at the looks of terror I get when I cough in public. I try not to cough, but sometimes it happens (always into my elbow, even before this shit). 

Living Through History

Okay, so a friend dusted off her blog to document life through the Corona virus experience, and I thought it was a good idea so I am too.

A lot has happened since I last wrote here, but we'll catch up later. Maybe I can get back into blogging/journalling regularly. 

I do know I need a break from anxiously scrolling through Facebook. I feel afraid I'm going to miss something important and also annoyed at selfishness. Not the toilet paper purchasers. That doesn't annoy me, nor do I find it ridiculous. It's how their brains decided to help with their fear. 

So yeah, being under orders to self isolate so we don't end up sick or in quarantine. This shit is weird. 

Carus's senior year has essentially ended early. We're currently closed until April 28th, and she would only go out school until June 2nd or 3rd with graduation on the 6th, so now what? She's worried they won't let her graduate, but they will. There's no way they're going to hold back hundreds of kids who all have plans for the fall because of this. (Knock on wood cause it's not like we saw this coming!) Her driving test got cancelled too which has her mad. She had to wait almost two months for it and now who knows how long it will take to get scheduled. 

Adam was able to finish his current term at Portland State; well, after he finishes his finals this week that they were able to put online he'll be done. He's probably not going to do the next term unless they put them all online for the same price as in person because online classes cost more and we don't have that. Otherwise the expectation is that he returns in the fall. This will extend him into a fifth year at college. He finally decided on a major, btw. Well, he did; it might be changing slightly. I think we're with Computer Science right now. I still think he'd be a good teacher. The random facts the dude knows, I'm telling ya. 

Robert is one that has to go in to work at Intel; can't do his fab job at home. But he's cleaning shared areas and scrubbing hands and they're limiting how close you can be. I don't think he's worried about catching it. He's been bringing home some bad colds this season though so... ???Although, apparently no one cleaned shared desk spaces before this!!! Uuughh. They sure are now! I'm not sure if I'm worried he'll be exposed at work or not. 

I went in to the hospital for my on-site shift on Monday. Then I realized how close patients who are potentially sick are to that office and proceeded to freak the fuck out to myself all day. My hands quickly became raw from extra scrubbing and hand sanitizer. My asthma has been really bad the past few years, especially during the spring allergy season when I can barely control it (I think it's the hazelnut trees). I've been coughing for 2 weeks now - I did catch a cold/flu about 2 weeks ago, but now I think it's just allergies. If I can't handle pollen, I surely can't handle this disease. Anyways, I've decided to not go in to the office until this is over. I can't bring myself to risk it. At first I thought I'd be okay if I caught it as I'm fairly healthy (except my weight) but as we've heard more about the symptoms and the risks I've re-evaluated. 

Or my anxiety is getting the best of me. 

I'll know in 6 months to a year. Heh. 

We've been keeping Carus's horse/donkey lessons. It's nice having that routine and the fresh air and movement. We went to Heather's for donkey time today and it was seriously so peaceful. Even while we were talking about how weird this whole thing feels, it was peaceful. Heather compared it to that uncertain time post 9/11 where we were in shock that something bad could reach us on our little American safety bubble. That feeling we had then. And it is. It's very close to that. Post 9/11, we knew, at least, we were going to war because we needed to respond. You can't go to war against a virus though. Unless our going to war is staying home? Then we looked at the piglets Heather had and watched vaccinations being given. Carus even helped with catching and holding them. She might end up showing Heather's show pig, Victoria Secret, (not one of the piglets though they are also show pigs and not eating pigs) at Fair this year. That's dependent on what's involved in her showing a pig at Fair, whether we have Fair (fingers crossed cause I love it dammit), and if Heather doesn't regret suggesting it in the spur of the moment. Ha! 

I saw a story today with a video of Italians that were asked to share what they would tell themselves 10 days ago, before their outbreak got bad. Our outbreak is just starting. It was a good little video with some sobering advice, much reassurances, and a few laughs. "Play the guitar. Well, learn to play the guitar because you currently suck." I thought it was a good idea though. I turned on my video tonight and recorded us with what we would say to ourselves 10 days ago and/or 10 days from now. We didn't have much yet. I'll do a few more here and there. Maybe in 2 days, or 5. Just for us/myself, I don't think I'll share them. 

What do you think you would say to you from 10 days ago? Or 10 days from now?

Goodbye Yoda Pug

We lost Yoda this week.

He had a seizure back in December and we wondered if maybe he had been having them for awhile and we didn't see them. The sudden muscle weakness, especially in his back legs happened a few times this past year and we just thought it was related to the known degenerative disc disease he had in his spine. He was weak for about an hour and then he was running around barking with the big dogs and being his normal self. He's getting older, seizures in old dogs do not mean good things, and he was fine so I left it as that.

Monday night/Tuesday early morning, he had a couple seizures. They woke me and I held him through two and I think I woke too late to hold him through a third.  Seizures are hard to watch and with them coming in a cluster, I knew it was time. I woke the kids and let them say their goodbyes. Carus was mad that we didn't warn her about Timmy so I wanted to be sure to warn her as much as I could about Yoda.  Yoda then got to go bye-byes to take Carus to school - one of his favorite things.

The vet was awesome. I called for an appointment and they said whenever I could make it in. They reassured me that seizures that start in old dogs mean bad things like blood clots or tumors and prognosis is poor; I was making the right decision. While I was waiting for them to return with the medication, he had another smaller seizure. They had me to tell them stories about puggy while I held him. He was breathing like he was in pain and it slowly stopped.

When we got him, we showed up to a house in NE Portland to pick him up and there were like 40 pugs in that house. I felt guilty for supporting that type of breeder, but I wanted my puggy at that point.  We grabbed our puppy and ran. 

He was the teeniest thing! And was so terrified for like 3 days. Carus was crawling around on the floor and he started playing chase with her and that was the first time he hadn't been scared. 

He loved the beach, especially the run to someone game. He always ran the fastest to me.

He was happiest when he knew where I was. He would follow me anywhere, and wait by doors and windows for me to return.  He slept at my feet for years, and then his back problems made it painful for him to get up and down off the bed. He would hurt himself badly jumping down so he wasn't allowed up anymore. He'd still ask.  He had a bed beside me and one at my feet under my desk for when I worked.

He was so determined to follow me everywhere, that he followed me mowing the lawn the spring we moved into our house and the grass was super long and so freshly cut that he was green half way up his body.

He used to do hand stands when hiking his leg to pee...

He peed on a computer tower Robert had opened up for repairs. That's when we decided he was old enough to be fixed.  (We delayed as pugs have trouble with surgery so I waited until he was about a year and a half old.)

He stole a stuffed caterpillar toy from Carus and loved it so much and hard that Robert spent like 6 months looking for a replacement on eBay - which he found.  Yoda loved that one too, but not as hard so it still exists.

He went by Yoda Pug, Poda Yug, Puggy, Puggers, Yoda Bug, Yoda Soda Bug, pug-pugs, puggy.

I miss my puggy so much. I knew I would, but still... 

(Below the photo links to Yoda's flickr album.)

3 weeks!

Only 3 weeks until Adam's graduation!!

He has turned in his senior project and I'm pretty sure he's given the presentation for that already too.  That reminds me, I want to have him show me the presentation.

His project was being stage manager for a Shakespeare play back in the fall.  He's done stage managing for a few of the plays put on by the drama department at the high school so it wasn't a stretch, but he did have to write an essay and take photos and put it all into a presentation answering certain questions so it was a bit more involved than "usual".

I'm excited for his graduation! And so proud!

And also a bit weirded out.  It just seems so surreal that we're already at graduation for him.

* * * * * * * * *

Our driveway is just big enough for 2 cars. If one car pulls all the way forward we can squeeze in one more and so Adam and I have been playing Car Jenga since he got his car and often being sure to have the first one out the next day parked behind the other.  Most days, he's behind me since he leaves for school and I work at home.  Every now and then we end up having to move one car to let the other out - and it's often he moving his car to let me out so Carus and I can go to the barn.  We have sort of developed a routine.

He backs out and off to the side and I back out lining up next to him.  Carus then rolls down her window (front passenger seat) and makes faces at him or calls him a nerd or such, and Adam is doing the same - making faces or calling her a nerd.

I just wanted to get that written down before I forget because it makes me smile.

New Year, New Post

In an effort to get back to blogging more, as well as getting back into my photography, I've decided to do a 52 week photography challenge through Dogwood Photography.  I'm not even sure how I stumbled upon it, but I did.

Anyoo - I guess watch for those.

In other news, the kids are doing well in school.  Robert had another surgery in December on his back (if you didn't know already), and well... we don't know if it's helped any....yet. Maybe it will help in the long run, though he's still hurting now which makes me sad and frustrated, though probably not as frustrated as he is. I'm working away and doing mom stuff and feeling overwhelmed by life and responsibilities constantly, but I think that's how it's supposed to be.

Carus's first show with Dusty is next weekend. She's excited. I'm excited and nervous.

Adam got his license (yay!) and we haven't had to drive him to and from work, which is NIIIIIIIICE! He's enjoying his car.

Adam leaves for his Washington DC trip next week. And he'll be gone for almost a full week. He's excited. I'm excited and nervous.  (Heh, since a theme to me?)

Robert and I are remodeling the bathrooms. We're starting with the kids bathroom and then will do ours.  They'll match when we're done.  The kids have gotten roped into helping too. We'd probably be further along if we could agree on a route to take with the floors and cabinets and such. We've decided and got a lot of it picked out, now to just buy and install all the things. Hey, maybe I should share updates of that here too.  There's an idea to encourage me blogging more often.

So, there we go. A quick and dirty update on things.

Band and Choir Concert

(This is a redo, a bit late because I didn't notice it didn't post when I posted it.)

Adam is in band again this year, and Carus has joined the choir, and so the concert at the beginning of the year was for both of them.  

The fall concert shows what the kids have been learning so far that year and gives a little bit of a baseline of their skills for you to see how far they come by the end of the year concert in May.

Carus is in the middle front - with the light purple hair.

Adam is just to the right of that cello in the middle.  This was taken during set up for the next performance as the tromboners (and Adam) are in the back and you can't really see them/him (he's in the middle of 3 or 4 tromboners and well hidden from cameras).

Clip of the choir

Clip of the choirs, orchestra, and band. 

Clip of just the band.

First Days of School

First days of school 2016

Carus went first as she is a Freshman! She started 8/29/16.

Robert took the photo for me as I had to go to work before she was ready to go.  I thought she looked excited and happy and that made me feel less anxious for her (she's my baby, I was anxious for her) but apparently the grin is because Daddy made her laugh.  Whatever, it works.

The better news is that this week has been great for her! She's starting to find her way around a very large school with classes all over the place and seeing old friends and meeting new friends and having a good time.  

Adam started the next day - Senior year! 

He's all same ole same ole to the high school experience. He likes that this is his final year, but I think it is making him a bit anxious because now everyone expects him to have a plan of what to do next and he hasn't decided.*  And on top of school, he's been working every evening this week and isn't home much except to sleep and is tired and not exactly enthused.  Welcome to adulthood kid, it sucks. 

The first few weeks will be an adjustment - they're both exhausted at bedtime and fall asleep easily.  It helps (or doesn't help depending on how you look at it) that they are walking to and from school (maaaybe a mile - maybe) to avoid dealing with 1-1/2 hour bus ride that comes when they want to get up (leave at 6:30 to ride the bus or get up at 6:30 and walk).

Meanwhile, I can't believe they're both in high school.  My baby is a freshman. My oldest is a senior who will be graduating this year.  This is weird and too soon and just really, really weird. 

*So far the plan is to go to community college and start the basic prerequisites and see what peaks his interest and go from there.

Clever Title

Hmm, how to start this post?  I mean, I used all my creativity up on the title already, what is left for the rest of this? 

Things are going.... well, they're going somewhere. Half the time I feel like I'm doing okay and the other half of the time I feel like I'm struggling to breathe. I keep forgetting my doctor gave me a prescription for anxiety meds and I have a full blown anxiety attack before I remember.  

I joined a group on Facebook that is dedicated to cleaning tips and tricks on a recommendation from a friend after asking about front load washers and dryers.  It's a large group so you can get a lot of input on types and brands of W&D (as well as vacuums, detergents, soaps, etc). After a few weeks in that group though, a few things:

1) Some of those ladies are CRAAAAY-ZAYY about keeping their house clean; to the point where they have an actual breakdown because hubby didn't rinse his plate before putting it in the sink. 

2) For about a week I felt really guilty about my house, but then I realized: it's not that bad overall and it could be worse and I'd rather be doing all the other stuff I do do and things I never find time for than obsessing over it. 

3) The insistence that husbands are unable to clean up after themselves and are therefore referred to as another child is epidemic and sad. Expect them to be an adult and help out and they will. Also, stop referring to grown ass men as children. Yes, they can be as much of a pain in the ass as kids; however, they are still not kids and are capable of a lot more than they are sometimes given credit for. It also seems that a lot of them know the trick of doing a half-assed job the first time asked so they won't ever be asked to do it again.  Also, if they do something differently than you, but the end result is the same - suck it up buttercup, it's not how it gets done just that it gets done.

4) I still don't know what washer and dryer I want. Front load or top load? If I go with top load - with or without an agitator? What brand is good? WHY IN THE HELL DO THE COOL ONES HAVE TO COST SO MUCH?!

Adam will be turning 18 this year. (I know, right?!!?!?) Every now and then Robert and I remember this, or realize that he will (theoretically) graduate next year (he's on track to graduate but shit happens and I'm not trying to jinx anything) and we will be floored for a few seconds while contemplating the HOLY SHIT-ness of it all. 

Like now. I just realized what I typed out and had to focus on breathing for a second. 

My boss was even floored the other day when I said something about his 18th birthday this year. I've been working at Providence for 10 years this August so yeah - time flies when you're not looking. 

Anyways - he turns 18 and I realized that he can 1-can vote for the first time this year, 2-vote in the primaries which for Oregon take place in April, and 3-will get to vote for president for the first time. I made him register to vote but won't force him to vote. He doesn't know who he'd like to vote for beyond, "NOT Trump!" I'm right there with him. 

Carus has started working - sort of.  She is working off some of Scout's boarding fees by working at the barn 3 days a week.  Friday, Saturday, and Sunday she is to feed dinner to all horses (11 horses and 1 mini horse), check and fill waters in all pastures and stalls, and clean 5 stalls in addition to Scout's. I'm helping too because I can't just sit around waiting for her to be done while twiddling my thumbs.  She is very excited about it.

Adam tagged along for Donkey lessons this week too.  He became friends with Tess, which wasn't too hard as he had a scratcher and some grain. Carus is still making friends with Bailey who is making Carus work for her friendship, though they did graduate to donkey driving which was semi-successful.  Adam might have some interest in driving donkeys too. He's being a bit shy about whether or not he wants to learn how. 

(There is no sound to the above video - the rain hitting the barn roof was too loud so I muted it.) (Stupid Oregon is still raining. LOTS)

Chewie is still a puppy and all the puppy work that comes with it, but he is starting to understand potty training and he can sit on command.  Most of the time he will also stop chewing on something he isn't supposed to be chewing on when I say leave it. Most of the time. He doesn't like me reprimanding him either. He got his first shots today - 13 lbs 8 oz. He is growing quickly.

In this video he was trying to convince Wilbur to come down and play. Wilbur has no interest. He doesn't poof up or hiss or swipe at Chewie, but he will walk away when he's done with the puppy barking and bouncing and trying to bite his tail. Simba, on the other hand, flat out Cats at Chewie, though he Cats at Leia too. He might consider Yoda a cat as he just ignores him. 

New puppy

Introducing Chewie Sir ChewsAlot Chewbacca, III

Photo at 6 weeks, 7 lb 8 oz and growing fast.

In case you missed the news on Facebook (and all the puppy videos and photo spam I've been plastering all over it) we got a new puppy.

He came home February 13th and has been keeping us busy. The kids are helping a lot with taking him out to potty and playing with him (and keeping him from chewing on things he shouldn't). He's a good puppy, learning very quickly.

His desire to chew on EVERYTHING quickly earned a nickname of Chewie while we debated for 2 weeks about what his name should be.

We went through so many names, but we kept coming back to the nickname Chewie. So voila.

It's hard to get a puppy to look at the camera while being still on a scale.

Yoda doesn't care for him (he doesn't like little animals), Simba is not cool with him, Wilbur doesn't care, and Leia started out nervous but now plays with him and worries when he is whining.

Thanks Robert for help wrangling my model. 

All about the weekend

My weekend has been great.

I started out with a riding lesson on Tucker. I left feeling really happy with myself. I wanted to work on my balancing and having better control of my seat, and my steering. Tucker is a smart horse. He figures out what the pattern/routine is and then anticipates the next move and tries to cut corners so he makes me work to keep to what I say we're doing and not what he thinks we are doing. One of the exercises my trainer had me doing was riding without stirrups. Definitely used a few more muscles doing that - especially when I started doing it at a trot. I'm happy with the sore muscles I have today; let's me know my work paid off.

After my lesson, I picked up Robert and we ran errands, did some grocery shopping, got some lunch, and hung out together.

Then, Saturday evening Robert and I went and picked up our new puppy. He's really little still, but mom weaned them a little over a week ago so they were ready to go to their new homes earlier than planned (they were thinking at least another week). (This is earlier than puppies usually come home, but I didn't want him to be all alone with his siblings going home this weekend.) We surprised the kids with him; they knew we were getting a puppy, they just didn't know we were getting him so soon.

Leia and Yoda have been slightly afraid/weary of him (omg, what is that thing?), but at my 5 am wake-up Leia started to play with him. He tires out pretty quickly still so just when she was really getting into it, he sat down and promptly fell asleep. Robert had the next shift at 7:30 am and the household was up not too long after that. 

The kids have been in charge of him most of today (Sunday), with Robert and I as supervision. Carus is already pretty good at noticing potty sniffing cues. She has insisted on being on night-watch with him and has put his crate in her room already. She says he's her puppy. 

He doesn't have a name yet. We can't all agree on one. Robert likes Rex, I like Tater (as in Tater Tot) and I keep calling him Buddy, Carus likes Tater but also would like something else, and Adam has been wanting to continue the Star Wars theme we have and go with Luke or Kenobe but no one else is really feeling those names. We'll figure it out and for now it's okay because I don't think he'd come when called. Have any name suggestions? 

Timmy

We lost Timmy today.



He became really lethargic yesterday and we took him to the vet.  He was dehydrated and had a very high fever. They gave him some antibiotics and some fluids and then we brought him home and I nursed him through the night. Though I got his fever to break, he was still very weak this morning and his blood work showed he wouldn't get better...no matter how much I nursed him.

Even though he was so sick, he still tried to cuddle us in his usual manner - rubbing his face against ours and pressing his head into our shoulders while we gave him all our loves one more time.

We got Timmy, with Wilbur, from the Oregon Humane Society about 12 years ago. They were just under a year old so we estimate them to be around 13 years give or take a few months.  (Same age/close in age though different litters.)




(Slideshow of Timmy photos)

We miss sweet baby Tim Tim kitty meow meow. We keep looking for him and wanting to see him. I opened the door for the dogs earlier to let them out and when I went to close it I looked to see if Timmy had sneaked out. And then I remembered.

When I went to feed the animals dinner I expected Timmy to come running to make sure he got to eat first. He always insisted that if he could see the bottom of the bowl, even just a little bit, it was completely empty and he was moments from starving. If you put food in the dog's bowls first, he would take a bite of the dog food while giving you a look that said, "look what you have reduced me to."

We expected Timmy to outlast Wilbur and Simba and Yoda, not be the first one we lost.  He was the leader. He watched out for them, even Simba, who he didn't really seem to like.  He would come and get us when Simba or the dogs wanted in and once he even alerted us that Wilbur had got out. Wilbur was very skittish at that time and it took us three days and a borrowed animal trap to get him back - Timmy let us know each time Wilbur came near the door and when the trap succeeded in catching him.

Timmy greeted everyone new that came to the house demanding their attention and made many visitors want to take him home.

You could call Timmy and he would come running, especially if you called, "Timmy buggies" and showed him a mosquito eater. He loved to catch and eat those buggies.

Timmy curled up with the kids when they were sick, purring their germs away. He curled up with us too. He insisted on sleeping between Robert and I every night. If we were cuddling watching a movie, he pushed himself between us. Robert was his special person and that was where he belonged.

If you got a bowl out of the cupboard, Timmy thought you were getting cereal and needed to share your milk with him. He would meow his mostly silent meow and bat at you until you gave in and gave him some "Timmy milks" (which we did occasionally) or finished your cereal and put up the bowl.

Timmy also liked to try to take Cheetos or cheese flavored popcorn out of our hands. Once he was very persistent in trying to get some cheesy popcorn that he was trying to bat at our mouths.

Timmy would bat at us demanding attention.  We would pick him up and he would rub his head into our shoulder and his face against our ear, often scratching us just a little bit with that one tooth that stuck out.

We love you Timmy. You were the best Ittie Bittie Timmy Kitty and we will miss you lots.

Project 52 - Week 7 - Negative Space

The theme for week 7 - February 13-19th - was Negative Space.

 I forced the kids to help me with this one a bit and I'm glad I did.  This is my new favorite photo of them.  They were done posing for me and were making faces at me and each other and just generally being their goofy selves while I snapped away.  

I really love Carus's hair.  

Adam's superhero pose.  

 While half the country is still dealing with mounds of snow and wintery winter, spring appears to have come early to us in the other half.  I don't know if we'll have a relapse back into winter like we usually do after the yearly spring tease - but it feels like we won't.  The air has changed from winter to spring so maybe we'll be . . . lucky?  Do you notice a change in the air with the change of the seasons too? Or am I just a weirdo? 

My daffodils and violas are making an appearance.  My Camilla bush is blooming and there are buds on lots of other bushes and trees. I've started working in the garden to get it ready too.  We removed the last of the dead plants, some carrots I forgot to pull, and brought in some soil to level the ground. Robert built me two more garden boxes and we put some yard fabric down which will cover with bark mulch to help with weed control in the aisles this year. I need to get soil for the new beds and fertilizer for the older beds and then I can start planting. Even if I start now and we do have a winter relapse I think the plastic coverings will help keep things growing.  

The fields surrounding town are all green with new growth.  I believe this is a wheat field - but I could be wrong. 

Here is the full picture that previous one was cropped from.  While the cropped and edited version is more true to the negative space rules, I like this one too.  

A field of spring surround by trees of winter. 

All posts for the project so far:  Project 52 in 2015

The next theme is:  Long Exposure

Project 52 - Week 3 - Macro

I ended up getting a bunch of eye photos for my macro week.  I didn't branch out much. Because I still want to mess with macro photos and because I don't want to do self portraits this week - I'm doing another week of macro photos.  This time with an emphasis on anything BUT eyes.

My eye. 

Adam's eye.

Carus's eye. Do you see those little crater looking things in her eye.  I don't have them, nor does Adam, but Robert does.  And yeah, I got a photo of Robert's eye but it was a smidge blurry and he didn't want to keep holding still for me. 

One of my succulents.  Very glad to see it's making it through the weekend okay. 

Moss on the paver wall in the backyard. 

Dead leaf lying on the ground.

Leia's eye. (Yoda's wasn't that great. See, told you I went eye crazy with this.)

Timmy's eye.  And again - Simba and Wilbur wouldn't hold still long enough for me to get a photo.  

This next week's theme is Macros part 2.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Xmas from all of us! (Woohoo! Family picture!)

And from Scout and Carus...

And me at the barn!

An outtake.  He started closing his eye like he was falling asleep standing there, Carus started petting his chin and his head went lower and lower and the eye stayed close.  Silly Scout. 

First Days of School

Carus started 7th grade Wednesday.





Adam started 10th grade Thursday.

I was a dork that forgot to get photos in the morning before they headed off to the bus stop so their looks of exasperation are for me and my requests for photos when they got home.

Happenings

I'm procrastinating going to bed.  I don't want to. Though I'm tired and I'm sure I'll be out like a light the second I actually lay down and close my eyes.

I'm procrastinating a lot lately.

The going-ons around here:

Garden is doing great. I've harvested more lettuce than we could eat and gave some away.  As well as some carrots, kolhrabi, and chives. The radishes are pretty much gone.  Broccoli florets are starting to show up so I'll soon have those to put up.

Green beans, tomatoes, and cucumbers are in.  As well as some herbs, more strawberries, and pumpkin.


(slideshow of Yard and Garden 2014 Flickr album, click arrows on either side of photo)

The kids have been out of school for the summer and rotting their brains with too much TV, video games, and other fun - like mustache straws.


Carus has been learning to ride thanks to some amazing friends (who loan horses and teaching).


Robert and I spent our 13th anniversary at the beach and it was a GLORIOUS weekend.


And of course, there is work and other boring stuff.

Christmas Eve Eve and Christmas Eve

7 days, day 3

Carus is watching movies next to me while I work. All the Harry Potter movies shall be watched this week, I think. I get to see bits and pieces between work and she gets to hang out with me which keeps big brother from complaining she is bugging him.



7 days, day 4

Happy Christmas Eve

We were watching a movie - Santa Clause (with Tim Allen, I love Tim Allen).

Then I ended up staying up until 1 am finishing up the pillow cases I made for Robert, Adam, and Carus.  Robert was trying to get me to hurry up on Carus's (when I was trying to hide I was in the middle of working on his) and come to bed and then he saw his and clued in...too bad it was after his surprise was ruined.  He still liked them.

He and his mom have problems with keeping surprises secret.  They both give out the right amount of clues or sly smiles that clue you in on things; and Robert seems to be extra good at sussing out his surprises - mostly by being in the right place at the wrong time like last night.  He was hovering.  I was trying to convince him I was okay sewing by myself and he should go to bed while trying to hide the pillowcase evidence from him and then he came over to me - the exact opposite of what I wanted him to do - and looked down.  He slyly hid that he figured me out and left the room. (Well, he thought he hid it but when he looked down, looked at me, shut up and then went to bed with his cat like I had been telling him to, I pretty much figured it out. I'm a smart one like that.)

He let me "surprise" him, and I let him believe that he let me surprise him.  And for that, I love him.