Goodbye Yoda Pug

We lost Yoda this week.

He had a seizure back in December and we wondered if maybe he had been having them for awhile and we didn't see them. The sudden muscle weakness, especially in his back legs happened a few times this past year and we just thought it was related to the known degenerative disc disease he had in his spine. He was weak for about an hour and then he was running around barking with the big dogs and being his normal self. He's getting older, seizures in old dogs do not mean good things, and he was fine so I left it as that.

Monday night/Tuesday early morning, he had a couple seizures. They woke me and I held him through two and I think I woke too late to hold him through a third.  Seizures are hard to watch and with them coming in a cluster, I knew it was time. I woke the kids and let them say their goodbyes. Carus was mad that we didn't warn her about Timmy so I wanted to be sure to warn her as much as I could about Yoda.  Yoda then got to go bye-byes to take Carus to school - one of his favorite things.

The vet was awesome. I called for an appointment and they said whenever I could make it in. They reassured me that seizures that start in old dogs mean bad things like blood clots or tumors and prognosis is poor; I was making the right decision. While I was waiting for them to return with the medication, he had another smaller seizure. They had me to tell them stories about puggy while I held him. He was breathing like he was in pain and it slowly stopped.

When we got him, we showed up to a house in NE Portland to pick him up and there were like 40 pugs in that house. I felt guilty for supporting that type of breeder, but I wanted my puggy at that point.  We grabbed our puppy and ran. 

He was the teeniest thing! And was so terrified for like 3 days. Carus was crawling around on the floor and he started playing chase with her and that was the first time he hadn't been scared. 

He loved the beach, especially the run to someone game. He always ran the fastest to me.

He was happiest when he knew where I was. He would follow me anywhere, and wait by doors and windows for me to return.  He slept at my feet for years, and then his back problems made it painful for him to get up and down off the bed. He would hurt himself badly jumping down so he wasn't allowed up anymore. He'd still ask.  He had a bed beside me and one at my feet under my desk for when I worked.

He was so determined to follow me everywhere, that he followed me mowing the lawn the spring we moved into our house and the grass was super long and so freshly cut that he was green half way up his body.

He used to do hand stands when hiking his leg to pee...

He peed on a computer tower Robert had opened up for repairs. That's when we decided he was old enough to be fixed.  (We delayed as pugs have trouble with surgery so I waited until he was about a year and a half old.)

He stole a stuffed caterpillar toy from Carus and loved it so much and hard that Robert spent like 6 months looking for a replacement on eBay - which he found.  Yoda loved that one too, but not as hard so it still exists.

He went by Yoda Pug, Poda Yug, Puggy, Puggers, Yoda Bug, Yoda Soda Bug, pug-pugs, puggy.

I miss my puggy so much. I knew I would, but still... 

(Below the photo links to Yoda's flickr album.)

Struggling

We lost Scout this summer.  He had been dealing with a runny nose for several months and was losing weight.  Antibiotics, expectorants, upping feed, etc - things were tried and not really helping much.  Imaging was done and a mass was seen in his sinuses.  He could have a surgery and they might not even be able to get the mass, he would have trouble with the surgery, if he survived, and because of his history of cancer, the mass was probably cancerous... the decision was made.

We took Carus out and she rode him and loved on him and the next day her and I returned. We bathed him and put flowers in his hair and had one last photo shoot with his girl. Robert helped take him to his appointment the next morning.

We ended up canceling the lease with Dusty too so we sort of lost both.

About a month or so later, we started looking at lease options and one kind of fell into our laps with someone moving into the barn we'd been at for a couple years.  They were joining our 4H group and looking for a partial lease on their horse. Their kid is junior level and they saw Carus as a senior level kid as an opportunity to put some valuable miles on and finish their horse for their kid.

We're about 3 months into that lease and it's going.... not perfectly but not a disaster. I don't know. Carus is just not connecting with this horse. She thinks she's holding back a little to keep from getting hurt and is trying not to hold back but just can't help it. I'm not connecting with her either. I don't really like her - she's not a bad horse or anything. It's just not.... something.  Something is off or different and I don't know how to fix it.

I was scrolling through pics today looking for some landscapes for Carus for her art class and got far enough back that it's just a bunch of her with Scout and Dusty and I'm just struggling.  I miss both of those horses, especially Scout, and the connection Carus had with them.

So yeah, now I'm crying because I miss those damn horses, I feel like I cannot make the right decision for Carus to allow her to participate in and do good in 4H and showing, and I am just a flipping mess...

Adam has graduated!

Not only has my baby officially become an adult and he does adult things (like driving and working and paying taxes and going to the bank and buying stamps and paying bills), he has graduated high school!  

Adam graduated with Honors (that little medal he's wearing) and I was so excited and happy and proud. 

I had hopes that lots of family would be able to come celebrate with us, but unfortunately it wasn't in the cards.  Gramma Jerye was able to make it though and I'm glad she was.  She's been at a couple of his big events - being born, turning 16, graduating high school.  

And it was a good visit with her - I hope she had a nice vacation.  

In 3 years, Carus is due to graduate... time flies...

Adam and some of his closest friends. 

3 weeks!

Only 3 weeks until Adam's graduation!!

He has turned in his senior project and I'm pretty sure he's given the presentation for that already too.  That reminds me, I want to have him show me the presentation.

His project was being stage manager for a Shakespeare play back in the fall.  He's done stage managing for a few of the plays put on by the drama department at the high school so it wasn't a stretch, but he did have to write an essay and take photos and put it all into a presentation answering certain questions so it was a bit more involved than "usual".

I'm excited for his graduation! And so proud!

And also a bit weirded out.  It just seems so surreal that we're already at graduation for him.

* * * * * * * * *

Our driveway is just big enough for 2 cars. If one car pulls all the way forward we can squeeze in one more and so Adam and I have been playing Car Jenga since he got his car and often being sure to have the first one out the next day parked behind the other.  Most days, he's behind me since he leaves for school and I work at home.  Every now and then we end up having to move one car to let the other out - and it's often he moving his car to let me out so Carus and I can go to the barn.  We have sort of developed a routine.

He backs out and off to the side and I back out lining up next to him.  Carus then rolls down her window (front passenger seat) and makes faces at him or calls him a nerd or such, and Adam is doing the same - making faces or calling her a nerd.

I just wanted to get that written down before I forget because it makes me smile.

Spring Horse Classic 2017

Carus went to the State competition this weekend to compete in Horse Bowl - which is a trivia type competition where they answer questions about horses, how to take care of them, the equipment used with them, as well as riding and showing horses and other 4H rules.  Our county competition was delayed by a month thanks to all the snow in January, which gave us one less month to prepare than the other counties had.

She was on the Intermediate team - and they got 4th place out of the 12 competing counties!  Washington County's Senior team got 3rd place out of 10.  The competition was fierce and each round quite intense.  In one round, Carus buzzed in to answer the last question - the deciding point!  It was quite a difficult question with multiple parts that had to be just right.  The whole room focused on her hard while she answered, and as she said the last words, she froze in place.  Her hands still held up mid gesture she was making while speaking using her fingers to list each part out.  The whole team was leaning forward and perched on the edge of their seats.  Everyone in the room, from the score keepers and timers, to the other team and all of the parents in the audience, seemed to collectively hold their breath.  As soon as the judge nodded and said, "that's correct," Carus and her team collapsed into their chairs with relief and the room let out an audible, collective sigh.  Carus's was the loudest.

Our last round was against Clackamas county (who came in 2nd) and we tied with them, then lost the tie breaking round by 1 point!

We watched the final round, and Carus and her friend were bouncing in their seats at each question because they knew the answers! It was quite comical to watch their dramatics of not being able to scream out the answers -- but you know, some of those answers came to them so easily because they weren't in the hot seats with a buzzer in their hands anymore.

I've never been to Redmond/central Oregon before.  Goodness, Oregon is pretty all over!!  The views coming over the mountain were gorgeous, and I kept getting awestruck at the view of the mountains from the fairgrounds.  I'm so glad the weather was nice - kept the drive uneventful.  And I'm glad I was able to take her to this event!  We drove down early Saturday morning, and headed home Sunday afternoon; just over 400 miles round trip in one weekend! I'm still a bit knackered, but oh so proud of her.

Adam update!

Let's do an update on Adam. Because I want to write something and I should probably talk abut my first born for a change.

He's officially an adult and he's been doing all sorts of adult-ing things this year. He's gotten a car, a job, traveled (mostly) solo - across the country.  Robert helped him file his taxes, and he got a tax return (don't get used to that buddy!). He's ONLY 3 months away from graduating high school! He still doesn't know what he wants to do for a career/job/college. There are some programs that would work perfectly for quick and easy access to a start of a career - and a good career at that, but he's having trouble committing because of what ifs.

"What if I don't like that job? Then I've wasted the time and money on it."

I get it, I get stuck on the what if I don't like it often as well. I don't know what else to do. We try to talk through options. 

He's also in the generation who has learned from their older siblings or parents, that college is super effing expensive and soooooo many people in this country are currently so deep in debt it isn't funny. And just with school loan debt. It shouldn't cost THAT much to go to college; and not even an ivy league school, but dinky little community and smaller state colleges. So much debt with horrible interest rates that you can never get ahead on and still pay cost of living expenses. With those loans being the only options for so many people and with the constant chorus of "you have to go to college to get a good job," waaaay too many people are stuck. 

But I digress.

In school, he's doing okay. He's skating by the classes he doesn't *need* to graduate, and doing well in the ones he does *need*. Work is going well, he likes earning money and having his own car.  We hardly see him because he's at school, hanging with friends, working, or hanging with friends. I see him a bit less because I'm often off being Carus's chauffeur.

See. I can't even get a pic of him unless I snap it quickly as he's heading out the door for work or school (here, work).  

His work stories are interesting...and gross.  He likes his coworkers and managers A LOT, but is totally not a fan of customers. Especially rude jerks or customers that smear their poop all over the bathroom or urinate in the trashcan. He can sympathize with those vomiting, though isn't a fan of them either. The franchise owners seem good to their employees too. There were $25 gift cards for Christmas (not much, but in my opinion amazing coming from a fast food restaurant) and they recently put one of their employees up in a hotel for the weekend when her home flooded. THAT makes me feel like they're good people.  

Anywho - I'm very proud of how awesome he's turned out as a young adult and am excited to see how he grows and matures and moves through life. 

And also completely weirded the frick out about having a child that old.

Carus update

How about an update on Carus?

Sounds good to me.  

Carus is doing amazing! She's making Freshman year look like a piece of cake and I'm so proud of her.  Her grades are great and she's being silly with retaking tests in the high 80s and low 90s to get even higher scores. She wants the highest As possible.  I think the only area she is struggling in is French, but learning a second language can be hard. She is becoming an awesome young woman and I'm seriously so proud of her every day. 

With 4H, she's doing great too! This last weekend was Horse Bowl (like Jeopardy for horse and 4H questions) and she answered enough questions correctly to get 3rd place, she faced her anxiety about public speaking and did a presentation on Stretching for Your Horse and she got 4th place of all Intermediates in Presentation, and then literally volunteered last minute to do an Impromptu speech and got 5th place in that! (5th place ribbon needed to be ordered.)

(Impromptu is where you are given a topic and you have to prepare a speech in 2 minutes, and then give it. The speech must be between 2 and 5 minutes.  Her's was just under 2 minutes on "What class would you add to fair if you had a choice?" - she choose At Liberty Training (where you have a horse do showmanship and other tasks without a lead line).

With that 3rd place in Horse Bowl, she qualifies for Spring Horse Classic!  That is the State-wide Horse Bowl (and speech and presentation) competition. It's at the end of April and we're not sure if she is going to go yet.  She has to want to, and we have to be able to afford the 4-ish hour drive to Redmond, Oregon, and the hotel stay from Friday to Sunday. When we get a bit more information about it, we'll make the decision.  I hope we can make it happen if she wants to go. 

Her working with Dusty is really paying off and Dusty is starting to trust her, and Carus to trust Dusty.  Her appaloosa and smarts get in the way sometimes still, but so much progress has been made. Lessons are going well and Carus is excited for the rest of the shows they have picked out to do this year (one in March, one small one in May and one big one in May, then the main event, Fair, in June!) and I'm less worried about Carus getting hurt on this head-strong mare. 

She got on bareback for a little bit the other night - first time on Dusty bareback.  At first, Dusty tensed up like she was going to start throwing a fit about it, but once she figured out that Carus was just going to love on her and I was going to walk her around she calmed down.  

Last week, while Carus was riding with the other kids at the barn, we were treated to a SPECTACULAR sunset and of course we did the mom thing and made the kids pose for some photos.  And this isn't too bad for a phone photo.  I should start taking the camera with me all the time just for the times we get something this amazing.

Scout has been doing well. I've ridden him with Carus riding Dusty once recently, and hope to do it again. I need to build my confidence on him, and he needs to build his confidence in me, but I'm hoping someday we can go on a trail ride together.

Happy 18th (!!) Birthday, Adam!

Adam is 18!

I can't believe it has been 18 years, and at the same time I can. It's gone by so slowly but too quickly. You are officially an adult, but it doesn't feel like you are quite yet. At least to me.  

I'm not sure what will make you an adult.  Will it be you graduating this year? Or getting your license?  Maybe the trip to DC on your own. Or seeing you vote in your first election. 

I am so proud of who you are. Every day and every year I become more and more proud of you. You are kind and considerate, responsible and empathetic, smart and witty, funny and sweet.  Your sense of humor and love for puns and dad jokes are the best.   

You're the best son, brother, friend, and person that I could have hoped for.

Thanks for making us (your parents) look good. 

Scout update

So, starting in March or so, about a month after his abscess blew, Scout started having this lameness.  He would limp off and on and often only at a trot and sometimes if we walked him for a long time before trotting he would be fine and other times he wouldn't.  We'd give him a week off, then ride, and then he'd limp 2 days later.

We thought maybe it was a residual abscess or another one.  Or maybe it was arthritis - he is older.

His owner had his shoes removed and that seemed to help a little and then it didn't.  We added MSM for joint support and that seemed to help a little and then it wasn't helping any more.  There was still the occasional limp.

Meanwhile May crept up on us and the three scheduled shows for May and Scout was still limping.  I went to cancel the first show and then Carus was lent a horse for shows for May so shows were back on but Scout was sitting them out.

It was weird not having Scout with us and people asked about him at the 4H show - Scout and Carus were famous.  We missed him.  I missed him more than I thought I would.

Then he was still limping so he couldn't do the other two shows in May, which we turned into just one more show and Carus still borrowed DJ and they did well, but they're not Scout and Carus so it wasn't the same.

Scout got a chiropractic appointment and that determined there might be something more going on so Scout got a vet appointment for x-rays and there was suspicion of ringbone.

The vet appointment finally came and I held out so much hope that it was just a little arthritis and the vet would have a program that would help him and he'd be better in no time.

It wasn't ringbone. It was ringbone's cousin - sidebone.

There's no cure.

Scout is now a retired show horse.

He is getting a rest while the meds and supplements the vet started him on get into his system and then he might be cleared for light riding.  No trotting.  No shows.  Definitely no loping.  He should be fine for trail rides or walks around the arena. Hopefully.

I'm devastated.

I feel weird for saying devastated, but it's the best way to describe it I think.  I don't want him hurting so it's not like I want to just dose him up on painkillers and keep him moving until he completely breaks down. But I don't want it to be over for him already.

He's fine as a pasture pet.  Carus and I still adore him and still love on him and take care of him and I don't want that to change.

Carus wanted to do 4H and OHSET (Oregon High School Equestrian Team) and while Scout wasn't an option for OHSET, they were really starting to hit their stride with 4H and I'm sad to see that end. Carus doesn't have the same connection with the other horses she's been working with (DJ and Dusty*) as she has with Scout.  I knew there was a connection, but to see the contrast between horses is amazing and interesting.  Ask my Grandma about the connection. She saw Carus ride DJ first and was all, 'that's a pretty little horse. I like him' and then saw Carus with Scout doing their follow the leader routine and apparently now has been telling everyone about the connection.

There are some options for her for next year and things are in the works for considerations and options.  They're on hold while we prepare for Horse Fair at the end of this month though so my patience is being put to the test.

I'm a planner though, and this lack of concrete plans is driving me nuts. Figured putting this all down on the blog will be good for looking back on and for a venting of sorts. Now that it's out there maybe I can relax a little.  We have all summer ahead of us.  Who knows what next month will bring...

(DJ and Dusty are awesome horses in their own ways, not trying to say they suck or anything.)

Adam's Prom

Adam and a group of friends traveled to downtown Portland, to Portland Art Museum, for prom Saturday where they met more friends and Junior and Senior prom (combined) was experienced.

These kids are the cutest! I love how bright and vibrant their dresses and hair are and how some matched their dresses to their hair!  They escorted each other.

I love how much Adam enjoys dressing up. He owns this suit, we just bought him a new tie, pocket square, vest combo for prom.  And I know I'm biased but I think he looks spiffy.

I'm making spiffy have a come back saying. 

These guys were king and queen together in Adam's last Shakespeare play - Midsummer's Night Dream. Most of Adam's prom friend group was in that play. I'm glad he's found his clique. It makes high school bearable when you have good friends to suffer through it with you. 

RIP Wilbur

We said good-bye to Wilbur today. We knew with Timmy going that Wilbur probably wouldn't be too far behind. What Timmy had was very contagious (so yeah, Simba has it too...sigh) and Wilbur was already slowing down on his eating and drinking so we knew. Doesn't make it easier... just makes it less surprising.

We tried to make the call at the right time, and I think we did.  We made *the* appointment the day after he stopped eating. I spent his last day force feeding soggy canned cat food down his throat. You know it's bad when you can force feed a cat and not get scratched.

The kids and I said our good-byes and Robert took him in by himself as I had to work.

Wilbur was a little slow and always skitsy.  The first 2 years we barely saw him as he hid in the closet all day and would only come out at night to play chase with Timmy. After a few months he would also borrow deep under the covers - but don't move your feet or he'd get them. Once he got out and it took us three days and a borrowed live animal trap to get him back, and Timmy's supervision of course.

We put a ledge on the window sill for him in our house in Aloha because he kept trying to sit on the sill and would fall off every time he started to doze.

He LOVED that ledge and we finally got to know our cat. He TALKED so much. We would all have conversations with him - meow? meow. ME-OW?! Mow.  And he would chirp to birdies outside.

After we moved out here, he hid under the bed for about a week and then he came out of his shell so to speak. He was often in the living room laying on the back of the couch or curled up in one of the kids beds - which was new. Visitors very rarely saw him as he'd stay hidden when they were around, but he really opened up and became less shy.

He loved fresh water and was really insistent when asking for the faucet in the bathroom to be turned on for him.

His only gross cat thing was he always had hairballs and would find the best place to leave it for you to step on. I think he bathed himself and Timmy and that's why he had so much hairballs. But his purrs were the loudest, his meows sounded like actual conversations, and his sweet slightly cross-eyed face was the best.  He came as a package deal when we adopted Timmy, probably cause they knew shy kitties have a hard time being placed.  I'm so glad he did.

Timmy

We lost Timmy today.



He became really lethargic yesterday and we took him to the vet.  He was dehydrated and had a very high fever. They gave him some antibiotics and some fluids and then we brought him home and I nursed him through the night. Though I got his fever to break, he was still very weak this morning and his blood work showed he wouldn't get better...no matter how much I nursed him.

Even though he was so sick, he still tried to cuddle us in his usual manner - rubbing his face against ours and pressing his head into our shoulders while we gave him all our loves one more time.

We got Timmy, with Wilbur, from the Oregon Humane Society about 12 years ago. They were just under a year old so we estimate them to be around 13 years give or take a few months.  (Same age/close in age though different litters.)




(Slideshow of Timmy photos)

We miss sweet baby Tim Tim kitty meow meow. We keep looking for him and wanting to see him. I opened the door for the dogs earlier to let them out and when I went to close it I looked to see if Timmy had sneaked out. And then I remembered.

When I went to feed the animals dinner I expected Timmy to come running to make sure he got to eat first. He always insisted that if he could see the bottom of the bowl, even just a little bit, it was completely empty and he was moments from starving. If you put food in the dog's bowls first, he would take a bite of the dog food while giving you a look that said, "look what you have reduced me to."

We expected Timmy to outlast Wilbur and Simba and Yoda, not be the first one we lost.  He was the leader. He watched out for them, even Simba, who he didn't really seem to like.  He would come and get us when Simba or the dogs wanted in and once he even alerted us that Wilbur had got out. Wilbur was very skittish at that time and it took us three days and a borrowed animal trap to get him back - Timmy let us know each time Wilbur came near the door and when the trap succeeded in catching him.

Timmy greeted everyone new that came to the house demanding their attention and made many visitors want to take him home.

You could call Timmy and he would come running, especially if you called, "Timmy buggies" and showed him a mosquito eater. He loved to catch and eat those buggies.

Timmy curled up with the kids when they were sick, purring their germs away. He curled up with us too. He insisted on sleeping between Robert and I every night. If we were cuddling watching a movie, he pushed himself between us. Robert was his special person and that was where he belonged.

If you got a bowl out of the cupboard, Timmy thought you were getting cereal and needed to share your milk with him. He would meow his mostly silent meow and bat at you until you gave in and gave him some "Timmy milks" (which we did occasionally) or finished your cereal and put up the bowl.

Timmy also liked to try to take Cheetos or cheese flavored popcorn out of our hands. Once he was very persistent in trying to get some cheesy popcorn that he was trying to bat at our mouths.

Timmy would bat at us demanding attention.  We would pick him up and he would rub his head into our shoulder and his face against our ear, often scratching us just a little bit with that one tooth that stuck out.

We love you Timmy. You were the best Ittie Bittie Timmy Kitty and we will miss you lots.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Xmas from all of us! (Woohoo! Family picture!)

And from Scout and Carus...

And me at the barn!

An outtake.  He started closing his eye like he was falling asleep standing there, Carus started petting his chin and his head went lower and lower and the eye stayed close.  Silly Scout. 

Carus and Scout

A friend has been giving Carus riding lessons and another friend is allowing her to ride her horse, Scout.

Scout is such a sweet horse! We love him.  Carus was exclaiming the other day "my horse!" when I tried to pet him. She halters him and leads him into the arena.  Then she brushes him and cleans his hooves and helps with saddling and putting the bridle on.  

She is doing really well.  This week she was released from the lead and had to do some exercises where she would stop Scout with his front legs as close to the orange cone as she could - and she did really well with it stopping him at just the right moment several times.  

And it hasn't taken Scout long to figure out that time with Carus means cookies. 

I am so thankful for good GREAT friends!