Have you ever boiled a pumpkin pie?

I have!

Yup, thanks to my lovely oven going from 350 degrees to 500 degrees in under 10 minutes I can say I have boiled a pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pies are supposed to cook around 45 to 60 minutes, mine was in the oven for probably 15 minutes total. And other than the bubble I had to pop, which was darker than the rest of the pie, it was perfect. Done in 15 minutes and yummy.

We learned soon after we moved in 4-1/2 years ago that the oven's actual temperature almost always differed than the temperature it was set to. It is mostly just 50 degrees hotter, and occasionally will be spot on, but every now and then we will have nice little spikes, which is why I can't put brownies in the oven and go start laundry or put cookies in and go to the bathroom. Both examples are true-to-life examples by-the-way. I have learned to either wait to put them in the oven or do a little dance so I don't wet myself.

I've also learned that while cooking I shouldn't answer the door, argue with Robert, or go wipe a kids' butt. Thankfully that last one is no longer a need in my house (thank you Jeebus)! But (hehe I said but) it was the bane of my existance for the longest time.

And yes we have lived with the possessed oven for 4-1/2 years. We are renters so its not like we are saving up for an oven to replace it. Oh, the oven I would replace it with. I dream of it. I dream of it and drool. And then I wake up and cry 'cause I'm stuck in my halfway-stuck-in-the-70s-kitchen with a possessed oven.

Your now thinking, "well why don't you just tell your landlord to fix it or buy a new one?" and I agree! Everyone please join me in telling my husband to call the landlord already and tell him the dadblamed oven is broken! Did I mention that one of the little burners doesn't work either. I don't miss it though - the other 3 suffice just fine. But he don't call, go over, and doesn't want me to call, go over, either. Why?

I dunno?

ANYHOO - I'm rambling. What was I going to tell ya?

Oh yea!

So tonight Robert is making dinner. And before you go "Aaahh how sweet" it was 'cause I told him if he makes dinner then I will make dessert, and his idea of dinner was frozen pizza - well cooked frozen pizza. I guess they aren't frozen now!

*Note: Robert does cook dinner probably 2-3 times a month for me and I appreciate it EVERY time. He also will buy dinner/take us to a restuarant several times a month and I appreciate that more. And he does dishes (sometimes - if I cry).

Oops, sidetracked again. See I do that.

A lot!

So he turned the oven on to 350 degrees and then went to the garage freezer - thank you David's mom and dad for giving us your old chest freezer, and thank you David for bringing it to me - to get the pizzas (Freschetta Brick Oven). Then back upstairs - opened the packages and put the pizzas in the oven. He set the timer for 3 minutes thinking that in 3 minutes he could check 'em and rotate 'em - yup it also cooks unevenly - and he sat down to his show.

And then the timer goes off and then he opens the oven door says "SHIT" and the smoke alarm goes off.

That's right folks, our oven BURNED (not badly) 2 pizzas in 3 minutes!

The boxes say to cook at 400 degrees for 12-16 minutes! HA! Not for us, we're special. No not that kind of special!

So after we got them out of the oven, and fanned our smoke alarm with a towel - 'cause I'm short and can't reach the button - we surveyed the damage.

Not bad... They were still edible and just as good as usual.

As we were waiting for the kids to come in for dinner I just looked at him with a smile, and he looked at me and said, "I know. Call Don."

I didn't have to say a thing. This time.